and the next contestant is…..

so here I sit. November 4th. Since my last post I have had MANY changes, ups and downs…

things got frantic for awhile, but I am sensing the peace again.  Tranquility with the decisions we have made, and ways we have approached them.

our last Marine Corps Ball was saturday…..what a bittersweet night.

As I looked at my husband, as I have always known him, I realized that this is something I have taken for granted. The icon he is, and that our family is for the sacrifices we have made, is soon to be no longer.

The memories will stay, but that will be all.

I stood watching the color guards bring in the flags, watching the sea of Marines all dressed up and at attention to their beloved, and I had to bite my cheek to keep from crying my makeup away.

God, I loved this life.

I will miss it so……

Cast away…and be cast off

So yesterday Emma got her cast off.  Three long weeks of being stuck in a hard cast can make a person freak out about what their skin looks like when it comes off. This I have seen twice now. One long bath later and she was excited to put her “long lost left shoe” on her foot and head out the door. Though she is limping, her mobility, and lack of bright purpleness, is invigorating!

With that gusto, today happens.

Today I was online looking for a place to stash my family until we know for sure what the future holds.  Something not too big, not too small, less than $2,000 a month – should be easy to find, right?

WRONG!

Southern California -and I am from here so I can speak freely and in all honesty- is EXPENSIVE!

3 bedroom, 2 bath places are in such high demand around here, you are lucky to even find one that is available, let alone affordable.

After over an hour of searching, only a handful of places that look good enough to call about, I gave up. I walked away from the computer and sobbed weeks worth of tears, because, this is not the first time I have searched for the same thing with the same results.

Yesterday I called roughly 15 places – those that even have a 3 bedroom option are usually not available right now. I am not in a position to be put on a wait-list that can take over a year. I need a roof over my kids’ heads NOW!

Throwing out the “my husband is getting out of the Marine Corps” doesn’t even help.

I know there is a place out there…..

my only requirements:

3 bedrooms

2 bathrooms

working kitchen

close to my family (and when I say close, I am looking at ANYTHING within a 30 mile radius at this point)

allows pets and has some kind of yard-ish space for said pets

 

Is this list a reality in Southern California?

I hope so…..otherise you can all send my mail to:

Kristin Allen and Family

freeway overpass @ 405 freeway

 

Gosh- I hope I can at least get mail there……

Broken bits that float away

I wish I could just float away….into some other world that is stress-free.

I dream of this place often….I suppose I should mapquest the directions at some point and just go there.

For now, I am stuck here….in this “real” world. The world that has so many problems, most of us don’t even know where to start.

My biggest problem for the week is other parents. Not mine. But my childrens’ friends’ parents. Those “other” parents that don’t seem to care about anything other than themselves and, sometimes, maybe their own child. The parents that throw a birthday party for their 7 year, that probably doesn’t deserve it, just to have said child out of their hair for a little while. The parents that invite other children over, rent a bounce house, and then go inside to party with their own friends, while the children are outside unattended. The parents that when one of those children gets hurt, gets them some ice, sticks them in a chair, and doesn’t call the childs mother.

I am so completely, totally, and seriously AGAINST those parents!

Because those parents are the way they are, so self-righteous and all- I am sitting at home taking care of my child (my baby girl if you will.)

She is the owner of the broken bits…..mainly in her foot (and no, nothing is broken because my child is one lucky kid!)

Bright purple cast on foot…..and loads of homework piled up, because she cannot walk on said foot, because she cannot use crutches, because she is 6.

Grown up at 29?

For the most part I feel grown up.  I am married, have three kids, and a place to live. I pay bills and taxes and vote.

Sometimes when I sit down after a long day, I feel older than I really am.

but then….

Sometimes when I get up in the morning I feel way younger.

Sometimes, when I look in the mirror, I see myself as I was 10 years ago.  I know thats my insides talking though. Not much of the outside looks like it did 10 years ago. 

In the past 10 years I have been the hardest on my body, asking it to do strenuous things over and over, pushing it to the limits.

(And no, I don’t mean my exercise routine!)

Since I was 18 I have done everything more extreme – danced with more vigor, played with more spirit, laughed more dynamically and cried more vehemently.

I have to say I enjoy these adult years way more than the childhood ones….. MORE FREEDOM! Bigger penalties for offenses though, too.

Of course, thats MY adult life…been married since the month before I turned 19, had my first child 7 months later (yes, you can do the math.)

My adult life has always been shared….with someone – first my husband and then my kids.

I am 29 1/2 now….yep, 29 1/2.

The verge of 30 isnt so scary, really.  It is a number….maybe a successful number for me at that. 

By the time I turn 30 I will have been married 11 years, have 3 children (aged 10, 8 and 7), studied for many different things, and have a good job.

I will still have my family of origin (my Mom and sister, my Grandparents, and Dad and stepmom) plus I gained another family, my husbands, along the route to 30.

I have made GREAT friends. Women, and men, whom I can talk to about anything and love me for who I am.

By the time I am 30 I will have figured out many things….and more will unfold in those next 30 years…..

That is life…..a series of learning experiences.

At least I have figured out THAT much! 

September 1

For most people, other than it randomly falling on Labor Day, September 1 is just another day.  For me, its a special day every year, no matter if Labor Day happens on it or not.

On September 1, 1998 at 6:34 am, I gave birth to my first child.  My first born son. My Hunter Patrick.

Now that 10 years have passed, I realize, I remember that exact moment of that exact day perfectly. Not fuzzy at all!  I remember the pain and agony, the tiring labor and frantic moments of sickness during it. I remember that Scott slept on the tile floor by my bed, and that I threw up on my Mom while she comforted me. But most of all, I remember the moment my child entered this world.  His face, his cry, his everything! I remember it all like it was yesterday.

Yet, it was 10 years ago.

Since that first breath of air, and the wonder that brings in me, my Hunter has done so much! 

He now won’t hug me in front of his friends, or basically anywhere in the near vicinity someone he knows might possibly be.  He reminds me almost daily that he is almost full-grown, and won’t have to listen to what I say much longer. He has his own way of doing things, even his own way of clothing and hairstyle.

I remind him that no matter what he chooses or does in his life, I will ALWAYS be there.  I will always try to hug him, even if his friends are there. I will always say things, even if he doesnt listen. I will always respect that he is an individual, his own person, and he can choose his own clothes and hairstyles for as long as he is an American.

Everyday that passes, I think I fall in love more and more with him. The saying I have seen lately that says “A cute boy stole my heart – and he calls me Mom” is completely true. He is my amazing miracle. He is my Hunter Patrick.

 

 

(and in case my kids read this……I love my Grady Dean and my Emma Michelle just as much as I love my Hunter Patrick……someday, I hope they all realize just how much)

Late night weariness

It’s true, it is 9:05 pm on a Tuesday and I feel like its midnight on Friday!

Getting back in the groove of the school schedule tires me out every year, and this one is no different.

Of course, there’s more than just back to school stuff going on around here these days.

I finally entered into the phase of my Medical Transcription training where I actually transcribe. To those without the knowledge, it seems fairly easy right – just listen to some doctor read off their notes and type it all out. Guess what – it’s not nearly that simple!

There are words, no, medical terms, that flow out of these doctors mouths in such a garbled way that I am completely lost as to even what part of the body is afflicted.

Grammar is key, of course.

And don’t even get me started on the styles.  There are far too many!

So, with every report I type, I enter it in a “grader” program, which turns words I messed up into blue and words I completely missed into red.

I have yet to get one report done without the multi-colors all over the page!

However, there are also footnotes, and today I got one report back with only one footnote – that’s extremely promising to me!

Yes, I am speaking Greek to most of my readers….but that is my life, Greek, Latin, and some really garbled diseases!

Not to mention the kids homework, showers, meals, laundry, and all that goes with families.

So late night weariness……. yes, I am there.

80 years, and the first day!

they

Here it is! The first day of school, yet again, for my kids. 80 years ago it was the first day of life for my grandfather. Hunter started Kindergarten on August 25, 2003.  Today he started Fifth Grade.

Ten years ago, we celebrated Pop’s 70th birthday with a big family party.  I was a week from giving birth.

Now that Pop is 80. That boy will be 10 in a week.

How does time fly like that?  Without even realizing it, I have become an older version of myself. My children have passed through stages I can barely remember, yet, can’t forget.

Amazing, this circle of life we are in. Too good to be true somedays. Absolutely thrilling to be on the Earth and experience all there is out there.

With the changes fast approaching, I know we will have more stages, some so wonderfully sweet, and some so horribly bitter. I vow to take it all in stride and remember that my Pop turned 80 the same day my kids started school this year.

To me, that we could sing him Happy Birthday on the phone this morning, and hear his laughter, I feel blessed.  I will not dwell on the fact that my daughter was the only one of my kids not embarrassed to kiss me outside her classroom door.

My circle of life.  I am enjoying it!

Technology abound…

…and I just want to sit under a tree, with a good book, like Rory Gilmore!

I have never been computer savvy.  I have never even tried to be that.

However, now I am entering a field where I need to troubleshoot my problems, no tech support 800 number to call on.

It just makes my head spin, this technology. The bane of my existence right now is VISTA!

need I say more?

The 3 in ME

What can I say?  I’m a Mom.  Have been for 10 years come September 1.

I LOVE IT! The being a Mom!

and it slowly hides me, all the same.

I have always given to them, sacrificed me, and they have fourished in that.

With my oldest turning 10 – a whole decade- I have decided, that a little bit of ME would do us all some good.

This is that tale…..of the ME in the 3!